Love's Masked Desire
by YullenStarDust
Summary: Allen and Kanda have known each other for years, ever since Allen has joined the Black Order. But one day, Allen starts to get feelings for Kanda, but doesn't know why. Soon enough, though Kanda will confess his love as well. Rating: T for Teen (Romance (comes soon in the chapter) and Action WARNING: Yaoi (don't read if you don't like Yaoi)
1. The Problem

Allen and Kanda have known each other for years, ever since Allen was just a rookie at the Black Order. Due to Allen's first experience of meeting him, he and that dark-blue haired man didn't get along at all. Fights and arguing were the norm for them. Each time Kanda called him "short stack" or "beansprout", the white-haired man could feel that anger and rivalry boil up inside of him, allowing those emotions to force words out at Kanda, thus starting bad things to happen.

But one day, however, Allen scanned those memories in his head, thinking over them. He could feel his heart pacing at a faster speed then before, his cheeks flushing a rosy pigment. He had one hand resting upon his chest, clenching the folds of his shirt; the other hand was in his short, white hair, strands of it escaping from between his fingers. He gritted his teeth. He was suddenly feeling a different emotion, one of that he has not experienced before.

_What...is this feeling?_

Allen fell silent. "Oh god."

...

It was a nice, crispy morning outside. Allen's grey eyes gazed into the light blue sky, watching as the birds flew by, their usual, beautiful melodies escaping their beaks. Allen's hair whipped against the wind as a look of realization and sadness masked Allen's feature. He was still playing those memories in his head, still not able to decipher how this could've happened...how these sudden feelings for Kanda made their way into his brain. Maybe he was coming down sick? This sudden awkwardness was nothing less then irritating.

Just then, the sound of the door being pried upon got his attention. Turning around to see who the culprit of the sound was, he saw it was no other than Lenalee Lee, his old friend.  
"Oh, hello, Lenalee." Allen blinked. "What brings you here?" Lenalee's eyebrows furrowed, "Well, I wanted to check up on you since you've been in your room for a while now. You haven't eaten breakfast yet, and are usually the first one to order your food."

Allen let a long sigh escape his lips, "Yeah, sorry about that. I'm...not really hungry right now."  
The female exorcist tilted her head the side, her long, black pony-tailed hair going along with the movement of her cranium. "...Not hungry? But Allen, you know that if you don't eat, you will starve."  
Allen nodded, "I know. I'll...probably get some food later."  
Lenalee then recognized her friend's melancholy expression and slowly walked over to him, her face shaped in that of confusion. "...Is something wrong, Allen?"  
Allen was caught by surprise when those words escaped her lips. She could sense that Allen's sudden denial of his usual food routine was being caused by something else. Allen could feel his heart moving at a faster pace, beads of sweat emerging from his temple. He didn't want to let Lenalee know how he was feeling. Would she understand him? Or would she not comprehend at all?

A lump appeared in Allen's throat, "...No. Just feeling a little sick, that's all." A smile crept across Lenalee's face, "Ah, okay." She then went to leave the room, but looked over her shoulder at her friend, "Come on, we need to get you fed."

Allen went to protest, but then sighed in frustration, "Okay...I'll eat a little bit." He then followed the female exorcist to the dining hall.

...

The white-haired man set down his plate, which was a smaller pile than usual. Dango, ramen and other mouth-watering foods occupied it. Allen allows himself to pick up a fork, not noticing that his eyes were locked on Kanda's, who was sitting a few tables across from him.

"Right, Allen?" Lenalee's voice was continuing on the conversation her and Allen were having. Lenalee then let her eyelashes flutter as she saw that her friend wasn't paying attention. "...Allen?" No response was heard. Letting out a huff of frustration, Lenalee decided to follow his gaze. Her eye widened in shock, but moments after, seemed to relax as a smile touched her lips.

Allen softly smiled, "Yeah, yeah, I think so too." Lenalee couldn't help but giggle; his reply was completely opposite of what she expected. Hearing it, Allen turned around, his cheeks flushing in embarrassment, "Gah!"

Lenalee smiled, "Oh, I see how it is..."

Allen let out a girly scream, "No no no! I-It's not what it looks like, Lenalee! Honest!"

Lenalee chuckled, "Sure, sure."

The white haired exorcist then realized that he was stabbing his fork into his pile of food. Feeling uneasiness emerging inside him, Allen sunk his teeth into a piece of dango, slowly chewing it. But what he didn't know was that Kanda had seen him, that he felt a pair of eyes on him. His eyebrows furrowed in utter confusion. _What? Was there something on my face? _"No...it can't be." he muttered to himself.

Not wanting that to nag at his brain, Kanda gritted his teeth, and went back to slurping down his soba.

...

"Come on, slowpoke! We're going to be late!" Kanda's voice broke the silence as he waited for Allen to put on his exorcist suit. Allen hurriedly fingered the buttons on his coat, slipping them through their holes. Allen's face was shaped in that of bewilderment. _What's wrong with me? _he thought to himself. _I'm usually bothered by his name-calling._

"Did you hear me?! I said...let's go moving!" Allen could tell by Kanda's raising tone that he was growing impatient. When Allen was finished, he closed the door to his room as he entered the hallway. The dark-blue haired exorcist let out a sigh, which was that of a mixture of annoyance and relief. He muttered a flat "Finally" as he and the white haired man made their way to the canoe.

"So what the heck's gotten into you, beansprout?" The 18-year old questioned as they sat themselves down in the canoe.

Allen felt his heart sink, and started to choke on words. "Uhuh...uhh..."

Kanda frowned, "Well?!"

"Well...I-I'm...not feeling good, Kanda. T-That's all."

Kanda smirked, "Man up. We have a job to do."

A sudden sharp exhale escaped Allen's throat. He didn't expect Kanda to use his original, sardonic smirk. He had expected him to huff in frustration and say something else. A burgundy pigment flushed on Allen's high cheek bones. _Why in the world am I finding this cute? _Allen deliberated to himself.

As Allen and Kanda got on the train, they found out that first-class seats were reserved for them, so they thanked the conductor for doing so. The blueberry haired man flopped down onto his seat, his ponytail flowing along with the movement. Allen followed suit as well, but decided to sit across from him. Allen casted his eyes upon the window, then looked at Kanda, "So what was the mission again?"

Kanda sighed in frustration, and facepalmed, "Do I _even_ have to tell you for the 100th time, beansprout?! We've been assigned to go to Poland, said to being infested with akuma. The problem is only getting worse as the population there is decreasing." He put one of his clenched fists on his hips. "Now do you comprehend?"

Allen blinked, "Y-Yeah, I think so."

Kanda slumped down in his seat, "Okay, good."

Just then, the train hit a bump, and Allen was thrown forward, his hands brushing up against Kanda's as he tried to regain his balance. Blushing out of embarrassment, Kanda pushed back, and bared his teeth, "Get a grip, beansprout!"

Allen blushed, rubbing his head, "Sorry. Didn't expect to fly into you when the train hit a bump in the ground, that's all."

Kanda slid his teeth together, "Yeah, right."

The sound of the train stopping got the two exorcist's attention. As they set foot outside the train, Allen marveled at the scenery. It wasn't what he had expected. Many stores were in front of them, some with small, striped roofs shading them. Trees surrounded the place, their leaves flowing like weightless feathers in the wind. To their surprise, they saw people walking around, talking and laughing. Children rushed to catch up with their parents. And for some odd reason, they didn't see any akuma in sight.

"Well, that's odd." Kanda said. "There's no akuma around."

Allen shrugged. "Yeah, it does. The invading of akuma and decrease in population might be a rumor."

The dark-blue haired man sighed, "Yeah, might be."

They then proceeded into the city, passing by more people as they walked down the street. Then, as if it came out of the blue, a sound of people screaming and calling for help got their attention. The two exorcists then ran in the direction of the sound, wanting to find out what the suspect of the sound was. And surely enough, it was a level 2 akuma, which looked like a mechanical frog, spikes replacing the usual feature of a frog's body.

Kanda's eyebrows furrowed. "I stand corrected." He then grabbed a hold of his sword, slowly taking it out of its hilt. Aiming it forwards, he rested his first two fingers upon the smooth metal, proceeding them upwards to the tip of his anti akuma weapon. The mugen radiated a light blue aura as the dark-blue haired man lunged, then thrusted himself toward the akuma, easily slicing it in half.

As Kanda focused his attention on battle, Allen felt the bones cracking inside his body, breaking apart and piecing together. When the transformation finished, the white-haired boy's left arm was now that of a large, metallic claw. Digging his feet into the ground, he ran towards the akuma, joining the blueberry haired man in battle. The teamwork that they share flowed in their veins as they took turns destroying the akuma, Allen hoping his best wishes to the akuma that they rest in piece.

Dust then entered the scene. Allen felt the particle tickle at his throat, digging its claws into it. A series of coughs occurred. The sound shot through Kanda's ears as he turned around to look at the white-haired boy. His eyes widened as he saw Allen's reverted left hand clenching the folds of his exorcist suit, trickles of sweat running down his forehead. Small huffs of air were able to free themselves from his throat. Kanda sensed that the dust is not normal dust, it's a poisonous chemical manufactured in the frog-looking akuma if it's ever killed in battle.

Kanda's eyes watched as more series of huffs occurred, then rushed over before Allen's head could collide with the ground. He rested his right hand on the back of the white-haired boy's head, his hair easily escaping between the 18-year old man's fingers. The other hand was rested under the tip of Allen's knees, just at the ending of the upper part of the legs.

Kanda casted his eyes upon the young exorcist, his expression still, his eyes closed. Kanda let out a long sigh of annoyance, followed by a "Che. As usual." as he went to get some help.


	2. Stricken

Allen's vision was hazy as he started to come to. He allowed his eyes to scan the place, even though it was hard for him to see. But when his eyelashes fluttered, he was able to make it out. It was a normal room, with cabinets in front of him. A sink was below it, and dust covered it; it seemed to Allen that it hadn't been used in a long time. There was curtains with pink, plaid fabric, slowly whipping against the wind. Allen then averted his eyes to the right side of the room, and saw a drawer next to him, but only a lamp was on it.

Allen let a sigh escape his throat as he went to sit up, only to find his arms trembling, thus causing his head to collide with the pillow. Allen then realized that half of his body was covered in a sky blue sheet. Allen gasped. How did he get here? And why is he laying down in the bed?

"It's no use, beansprout." a masculine voice sliced the silence in half. Allen's eyes widened as he turned his head around to see the owner of the voice. And sure enough, it was Kanda.

Allen blinked, "K-Kanda..."

"You won't be able to get up, let alone fight." Kanda sighed as he sat himself down in one of the chairs. "That poisonous dust excreted from the akuma was dangerous, and made you ill."

"Ill?" Kanda nodded in return.

"You had inhaled the dust that came from the aftermath of killing the akuma. That type of akuma has the ability to hurt the exorcist if that akuma is killed off."

Allen's eyes widened in realization. He remembered after the frog-looking demon was killed, the dust had made its appearance and almost suffocated Allen to death. The white-haired boy felt beads of sweat run down from his temple as his eyebrows furrowed in anger. How could he have not realized this before? And why did he let his guard down?

Sighing in frustration, Allen sat up and leaned forward, his arms trembling at first, but were able to regain their balance as Allen rested one of them upon his snow white hair; strands of it peeking between his fingers. A cough escaped his throat, "When will I be able to fight again?" Kanda shook his head, "Not for a while. This illness is harmful. You'll need plenty of rest and care before that happens."

Allen huffed in irritation, _Well, that's just great. I will have to wait and get better until this irrelevant sickness goes away. I wish I hadn't let myself get distracted. _The snow white haired boy then rested his head back on the pillow, his grey eyes following Kanda's movement as he went to leave the room. He locked his eyes onto Allen's before he closed the door behind him.

He then searched around the hospital for a nurse or doctor, hoping to find one to take care of the sick exorcist. Some were on the phone, so they had to excuse themselves and answer Kanda's question. Some were busy eating lunch, and Kanda had to apologize. But, at the end, Kanda ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated that there were no nurses or doctors that could attend to the white-haired boy's illness.

He then went to throw up his arms and say that he quit, but then he realized something: He would have to take care of Allen himself. Kanda's eyes widened, then relaxed as he slid his teeth together. Why, oh why, did he have to end up helping Allen when the nurses and doctors had other appointments to attend to? Kanda knew deep inside how much he hated the young exorcist. He got on the blueberry haired man's nerves, how Allen would return his rude remarks back to him and pretend to be a know-it-all. But Kanda knew he would have to take care of the guy he hated, whether he liked it or not.

Allen heard a defeated sigh, followed by the door slamming behind Kanda as he entered the room once again. "Well, that's just great. I have to take care of freakin' beansprout."

Allen felt his cheeks flush, "W-What?" That statement shot through Kanda's ears, making him notice that he said his thought out loud. Feeling the skin on his high cheek bones turn a rose pigment, he averted his attention to the cabinets, making sure that he didn't have his eyes on the snow-haired boy.

...

As Kanda took off the cherry pit bag on Allen's head, he absentmindedly put his hand on Allen's head, softly stroking his hair; the strands coming out amid his fingers. A soft smile came across his face, but then transitioned to a frown when he saw Allen's grey eyes open and looked at him. Kanda scowled as he quickly moved his hand away. "Che. I see you're awake...beansprout."

The snow white haired boy stared at him, "K-Kanda...weren't you just..."

Kanda felt the skin on his cheeks begin to warm up, soon adopting a burgundy pigment, "No! I was not!"

"Are you sure?" Allen questioned. "You had a smirk laden upon your lips, and your eyes were gazing into mine."

Kanda felt his heart beating faster, "D-Don't be stupid! I did not smile, and I was _not_ gazing into your eyes!" Surprisingly, he felt silence corrupt the room, no words came out of the young exorcist's mouth. He looked at Allen, and his eyes widened at Allen's sudden change in expression. A warm smile was upon his lips and his eyes were a tad brighter.

"Is there something that you need to tell me, BaKanda?" Allen smirked.

Kanda blushed, and focused his attention on the floor. _What in the_ world _is happening to me?_ the blueberry haired man thought. But then he looked up, and snapped out of it. "Beansprout, if you are feeling better, then we should better get going."

Allen's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. By seeing the look on Kanda's face, he could tell that something was on Kanda's mind, but didn't want to ask. He didn't want to reveal a spoiler.

His eyes fell to the floor as he turned to follow Kanda out the door, harboring a large smile upon his lips. He could tell from that moment, that things will become a lot more interesting.


	3. Time Off

As Allen and Kanda set foot outside the hospital, they saw that everything was quiet and peaceful as it was when they first arrived here. Allen exhaled; he was getting irritated of the akuma constantly playing hide-and-seek, waiting for the right moment to come and attack the two exorcists. So the two decided to just stroll around Poland, glancing at the numerous coffee shops and restaurants.

A deep growl emerged from Kanda's throat, "Those stupid akuma need to come out and show themselves. Otherwise, we won't be able to finish our mission." No words came out of the white haired boy's mouth, he nodded in agreement.

Just then, a level 2 akuma popped out of nowhere. It had the features of a cat, but was metal and had spears as a replacement for its claws. Allen's eyes widened, the sclera of his left eye transitioning to a pitch black color, his pupil separating into two crimson circles. Allen then closed his eyes, allowing the power of his Innocence pulse through his veins as his arm mutated into a large grey claw. Kanda, on the other hand, unsheathed his sword from its hilt. As he slid his two fingers across the metal, he muttered a few words, causing Mugen to radiate a blue aura.

Their eyes flashed at the akuma before them, then dug their feet into the ground, throwing themselves towards the demon. The cat's eyes narrowed at the sight of the exorcists, and swung one of its claws at them. With a smirk, the dark blue haired man sliced the claws in half with his sword. A howl of pain escaped from the akuma. The body seemed to swell, the akuma's eyes grew large. And then a blink of an eye, it shattered into millions of pieces. Kanda then went to sigh, but then saw many other akuma coming.

Gritting his teeth in annoyance, Allen and Kanda fought off the demons, watching as the akuma screamed in agony as they disintegrated into thin air. As their boots clacked against the ground, small huffs of air escaped their mouths.

"Is there any more coming?" Allen questioned. "If so, it has to be the last one, because I'm already getting tired."

Kanda nodded in agreement, "Same here."

His eyes then flashed to an akuma, which seemed to pop up on cue. It look like that of a naga, with a snake-like tail and human body...except the akuma was completely made out of metal. Allen and Kanda rested their boots upon the ground, waiting patiently for the monster to make its move. Instead, a laugh that sounded like a mix between a hiss and a demonic laugh was heard from the akuma, and it flew into the air. Allen and Kanda both sighed in frustration, and followed the akuma's lead.

They brought their movement to a halt when they spotted the naga-looking akuma, which was happily waiting for the two male exorcist on the roof of a medium, jet-black tower. In its hands was a teal aura, a white substance in it that looked like turning gears. The white-haired man's eyes widened at the sight of the Innocence. The two exorcists then lunged towards the akuma.

Kanda muttered a few words to himself, and as the sword radiated to his command, wispy, demonic-like souls came out and attacked the akuma. The akuma hissed and swung it's tail towards Kanda, who easily dodged it. His eyes widened when the akuma used more force and sent him flying right into a wall of a pillar a few feet away from the scene.

Allen gasped, "Kanda!" His grey eyes watched as the dust subsided, only revealing Kanda's motionless, wounded body. Feeling anger rush into his veins, he locked his eyes back on the akuma. The bones in his arms took themselves apart, and pieced together as one big canon-shape. With a thrust of his arm, laser-like bullets shot out at the akuma, piercing through its skin. The akuma screamed in pain as it started to disintegrate into thin air, soon losing its hold on the Innocence.

The clacking of Allen's boots were heard as he looked away from the explosion. He then cast his attention back on Kanda, and alighted himself onto the ground. He then rushed over, and bent down on his knees. He placed his hands upon the blue-haired man's waist, then helped him up, putting him over his shoulder. With a long sigh, Allen made his way back to the train.

It was quiet as Allen sat down one of the many rows of stairs following to the rooms. He played back in his head what happened earlier before Kanda and him completed the mission and brought the Innocence back safe and sound. His expression was that of sadness, but also one of guilt. He felt ashamed for letting his guard down, and falling ill. He let his eyelashes flutter before a smile pushed away his frown, soon replacing it with calmness. He also felt happy for Kanda taking care of him, it was like a dream come true to Allen.

The clacking of boots got Allen's attention, and he turned to face the owner of the sound. And surely enough, it was Kanda.

Allen blinked, "...Kanda? Aren't you supposed to-"

"I'm fine now, beansprout." Kanda interrupted him. "That wound from the akuma is no more." He then sighed. "How many times do I have to tell you that I heal faster than most people?"

Allen rose up his hands in protest, "...Sorry."

Silence then filled the room. With a long sigh, Kanda sat down next to Allen, which made a bantam blush appear on Allen's cheeks.

"So what is there to do now?" Kanda questioned. "We don't have to go to another mission right at this moment."

Allen exhaled, "Well, I was thinking of getting a bite to eat at the mess hall."

"Not in the mood for that. Besides, I eat soba before the mission."

"Ah, okay."

Silence then made its way into the awkward scene once more.

"...So, what _has_ gotten into you, beansprout?" Kanda's sudden question caught Allen off guard. Allen remembered from the train trip when the train hit a bump, and how his hands brushed along Kanda's. Allen squeaked without noticing, his cheeks were now a rosy pigement. Why is Kanda bringing this up? Is he bothered by Allen acting weird?

Allen blinked, "N-Nothing."

"I see." Kanda sighed. He then smirked. "I was just wondering because I think you...look cute acting all nervous."

Allen felt his heart stop. Why is Kanda saying this?

"I've never seen you act like that before. I've just seen you angry at me whenever I call you "beansprout"...but with you blushing like a fangirl...I can't help but say that."

Allen was at a loss of words. He felt his heart pacing at a much faster pace than before. The white-haired man then went to smile and say what he liked about Kanda, but then felt Kanda's hand rest upon his cheek, the other one on his shoulder. Then, as Kanda leaned in, he delivered an unexpected kiss upon his lips.

The white-haired man's grey eyes widened in shock, the rosy pigment that was on his cheeks now spread to the rest of his face. The kissing went on for a couple of minutes until Kanda finally pulled away. He then stood up, and started to head for his bedroom. As he reached the top of the stairs, he glanced over at Allen. "Good night."

Allen fell silent for a moment, then felt a smile creep across his face, "...Good night, Kanda." Then, as he watched the blue haired man leave his sight, he closed his eyes, soon passing out.


End file.
